 |
|
See Also : Love :
Related Articles : The History Of Love : Different Types Of Love : The Chemistry Of Love : How To Be Loved ::
We all feel we know what love is, and yet it may come as a bit of a shock to learn that the idea of modern western love is very recent, and has a great deal to do with what the Church, literature and the cinema want us to believe.
Love was defined by the Church in the middle ages by St Augustine and St Thomas who defined the Caritas Synthesis, which required all love between people to be a reflection of a love towards God. This meant that you should love God first, but could love a person second, just so long as the personal love fell way short of the love of God, otherwise this was considered adultery. This continued as the Church's doctrine for a long time.
Courtly love slowly started making it's mark from the 12th centaury, where personal love was recognised. However, the rules of courtly love were such that a courting male strove to be perfect, and courted an idealised woman, who was not considered to be a real person, but a substitute for God in the Church's Caritas Synthesis. Love was seen as something that created a spiritual unity between a man and a woman and required proper behaviour.
Romanticism developed these ideas from the late 18th centaury onwards, and emphasised that love, the feeling of love itself were the ideals to strive for. Sexual love was considered important for the first time, both in it's own right and also as was of cementing the bond between a man and a woman and fulfilling divine responsibility to God.
The Victorian era and the industrial revolution introduced a market economy which separated men and women on a daily basis into their respective roles in society. This eventually lead to stereotyping of men and women, with men as the stronger partner, and women as the weaker. Men believed they had to win a woman over, as she was seen as weak minded, a passive property, and not interested in sex. Lack of communication was widespread and any discussion about sex was strictly taboo. This lead to a lot of couples not being at all close to each other.
The modern era has its ideas of love taken from the novel, the popular song, the press, the TV and the cinema which have in some ways reflected the idea of love being all about the individual, and in other ways have lead to the acceleration of this idea. The last fifty years have seen society change at an increasingly rapid pace. We now communicate better with each other, but are more influenced by the media than ever. We live in a society which encourages immediate individual gratification and achievement, rather than lasting family values. Love and sex have been separated from marriage and children by efficient contraception and social values. People are living longer, and divorce and separation are easier and more socially acceptable, so that having more than one partner or marriage in a single lifetime is now the norm.
Love today is accepted as a universal right but our expectations have been moulded by the media to the extent that life rarely lives up to what you see on the big screen. The solid foundation of love which is a cornerstone of happiness is today's unsung hero, and is what more people need in their lives, rather than the emphasis on the novelty of new loves. Follow your own heart rather than the Hollywood script, because getting your own personal love equation right is important.
Subscribe to this comment's feed
01392 360125 OR